How I rebuilt my relationship with my son

On August 24, 2016, I was standing in a North Carolina Target, helping my daughter buy supplies for her college dorm room, when I got a call from my son’s high school principal. He told me I needed to pick him up.

He was high.

At first, I was furious. It had been an exhausting year trying to make him stop smoking.

I was angry that his recklessness was impacting this time with my daughter.

Then I panicked. How was I supposed to pick him up when I was 3,000 miles away?

I started to cry.  

For the past year, he’d made bad decisions that I worried would have horrible consequences.

So I tried to “manage” (cough, cough…control) him because I thought this was what a good parent should do.

I tracked him to “keep him safe” (actually, to try to catch him in a lie.)

I yelled at him when he didn’t do his homework.

I punished him when he was disrespectful or didn’t do what I told him.

Nothing I tried worked.

I was exhausted from the chaos and so sad he was pulling away.

My son was struggling, and I was failing him.

It became crystal clear to me on that call at Target that I needed help.

Shortly after, I found a parenting program that taught me a new approach.

🙌 I learned that his behavior did not mean I failed as a parent.

🙌 I learned how to talk to him without disappointment or anger seeping in.

🙌 I learned how to accept his choices without condoning them.

🙌 I learned to resist the urge to tell him what to do even when I thought there was a better way.

🙌 I learned to trust that this was his journey and that life didn’t have to look perfect.

My fears and worries started to subside.

I felt close to him for the first time in years.

Had I not sought help,

he wouldn’t have reached out to me during a rough patch in college,

I wouldn’t have been able to calmly support him without being critical,

and I wouldn’t have been confident enough to trust that he would be okay.

But worse than that, we wouldn’t have the connection and trust we have today.

He now shares his worries when he has challenges at work or in relationships. 

And I’m his first call with exciting news, like when he got a puppy.

I know he’ll want me to be close to his future wife, be part of his kid’s lives, and share milestones and adventures in the years ahead.

Raising teens is not for the faint-hearted.

It takes time, energy, and intention to help them thrive.

With my proven approach, I help loving, well-intentioned parents like you.

Discover how you can enjoy these years – calmly and confidently.

Book a complimentary consultation here.

♥️ Jeanine