What to Do After You Yell at Your Teen
We all yell at our teens sometimes.
They trigger us.
They are late for school for the 10th day in a row.
They don’t turn in assignments.
They are disrespectful.
Any parent would get angry and yell.
But don’t worry.
You haven’t messed your kid up forever.
Because there is something you can do next.
Repair.
A repair is when you revisit the moment of the explosion and take responsibility for your reaction.
There are 3 steps to repair, and it looks like this:
Compassion. Tell yourself, “I am a good parent navigating a tough moment.”
Responsibility. Acknowledge what you did. Share how you feel.
Adjustment. Share what you will do differently next time.
This sounds like, “Hey. I yelled at you this morning before school. I’m really sorry. I wish I hadn’t lost my temper. I was frustrated we were going to be late. The next time I’m angry, I will take the time to calm down. Maybe I’ll give myself a time-out.”
I described what happened, took responsibility, shared my feelings, stated how I would do better next time, and sprinkled a little humor.
Notice this approach does not blame your teen.
Instead, you take responsibility and create a connection after the rupture.
When you have the repair tool in your back pocket, you don’t have to worry about being the perfect parent.
What a relief.
♥️ Jeanine
P.S. It’s a busy time of year with money flowing out the door. But ask yourself, what is the most important thing in my life? If it’s your relationship with your teen, prioritize it and book a consult.
