Being a “good parent” is not what you think.

Along the way, you learned that being a “good” parent means your teen needs to behave the “right way.”

So naturally, you focus on their behavior.

Why aren’t they studying?
Why aren’t they hanging out with friends?
Why are they always on YouTube?

Frustration sets in because your teen isn’t meeting your expectations.  

Then, they sense your disappointment and don’t change their actions.

This is fixable.

And here’s the truth:

Your teen’s behavior is a consequence of avoiding an uncomfortable feeling.

Maybe they aren’t studying because they don’t want to feel stupid if they can’t solve the equation. 

Or they don’t meet curfew because they don’t want to be embarrassed leaving the party first. 

Or they spend hours online because doing their work feels overwhelming.

They make poor choices and act out because they don’t have the words to express themselves.

Instead of your correction, sarcasm, or punishment, notice what they need and how they are feeling.

That’s the real magic.

When they struggle with a friendship, they need you to listen. 

When they feel pressure from school, they need you to be compassionate.

When they feel like a loser for missing a goal, they need you to believe in them.

When you identify and meet their needs first, their behavior will change.

They will make better choices.

They will build self-confidence.

And you will feel close again. 

♥️ Jeanine

P.S. This is tricky because we weren’t taught how to parent this way. I can help you.
Book a complimentary call HERE to learn more.